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Being a straight ally 101
Glossary of Terms
Recomended Readings (more to be added soon)
Recomended Films (to be added soon)
Community Resources
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TransGenderism 101
******Gender, Gender Identity, Sex and Sexual orientation, are independent of each other.******
Gender is a way of perceiving things or people as masculine or feminine, often used as a synonym for sex (n.). Gender Identity is the manifestation and expression of an individual’s fundamental or internal sense of gender. Sex is biological as evidenced by chromosomes or genitals – one’s body or physiology (i.e. male and female)
Sexual Orientation is how one expresses erotic attraction to themselves or others.
As you read the following information, please keep in mind that there is much diversity among those who call themselves transgender or consider themselves members of the transgender community. The transgender community is still discussing and coming up with terms, definitions and vocabulary to better describe their perspective. For every statement below, consider these working definitions, and not finished complete definitions and that none of these definitions are standardized throughout society. Often “trans” is a term used to substitute the word “transgender.” It is safer to use and it also it more inclusive.
Transgender: is a general term applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies that diverge from the normative gender role (woman or man). This role is commonly, but not always, assigned at birth, as well as the role traditionally reinforced by society.
Intersex - a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with sexual organs that do not seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. Note: “hermaphrodite” is an outdated term previously applied to intersex individuals and is no longer used as it may be offensive.
Transexual – refers to those who alter their bodies surgically to match their gender identity. Note: “transsexual” is an outdated term used previously and now may be offensive – it is best not to use this term.
MTF - male to female transgender individual
FTM - female to male transgender individual
Crossdresser - one who wears clothing of the opposite sex for erotic or fetish reasons. Note: “transvestite” is an outdated term used previously and now may be offensive.
Drag King - female performance artists who dress in masculine drag & personify male gender stereotypes in performance.
Drag Queen - male performance artists who dress in feminine drag & personify female gender stereotypes in performance.
Transition - process of changing one’s physical and social appearance of sex, usually with medical treatment
Hormone Therapy - use of sex hormones to create physical characteristics of an individual’s gender identity
SRS - Sexual reassignment surgery
Gender Queer – a catchall term for gender identities other than man and woman. Gender queer may also be an identity for individuals that think of themselves as being both male and female, as being neither male nor female, or as falling completely outside the Gender binary (male vs. female). This is a newer term often used by youth or young adults.
Gender variations are more common than most people suspect, because many people hide their true nature out of fear of being ridiculed and for their safety and security.
For many transgender people, transitioning socially from their assigned gender to their actual gender is very important. Each person transitions at their own pace with different outcomes. In general, many change their clothing, behavior and grooming to more closely match their gender identity. Some choose to undergo Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and some choose surgery to alter their physical bodies to more closely match their gender identity. These procedures generally help the person fit into society and ‘pass’ as who they really are.
There are often social effects from taking hormones or SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) and transitioning to ones own actual gender. These include relationship changes with family members, friends, and employers. Transgender people may incur job discrimination, loss of employment, divorce, and the restriction or loss of visitation rights for children. However, social effects can be positive as well. After transition transgender people generally feel better about themselves and about their lives.
***For additional information, check out the following web sites:
The International Foundation for Gender Education:
http://www.ifge.org
Transgender Forum
http://www.genderpsychology.org
BEING A STRAIGHT ALLY 101
What is an LGBT ally?
Many allies are simply caring friends, family members, or colleagues of someone that is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT). An LGBT ally can also be someone who supports LGBT individuals and/or the larger LGBT movement for equality and fair treatment. Allies can be straight (heterosexual) but may also be LGBT themselves and advocate for another LGBT identity other than their own. For example, a gay man may be an ally to the transgender community by supporting transgender equality. Allies are some of the most effective and powerful advocates for the LGBT movement. These allies have proven invaluable personally and politically, and are increasingly important in the personal lives of LGBT individuals and the larger fight for LGBT equality. Indeed, their voices often have been heard while the voices of those they support have been ignored.
Who are allies?
Some may think that advocating on behalf of LGBT equality is solely the responsibility of those who are affected by the inequality but allies have proven that this is not always the case. Many allies are family members, friends, colleagues of LGBT individuals but may also be persons that are politically aligned or socially engaged with the larger LGBT community. Although some allies have do not know anyone that is LGBT, these allies are aware of the ways in which the LGBT community is being treated unfairly.
How to be an ally?
Below is a list of various ways in which people are or can become allies. This is not a complete list, nor is it a requirement that all these suggestions make someone an ally. The intention to be an ally is the most important step. Prominent allies take one step further and educate others on LGBT related experiences and obstacles.
FIRST STEPS
Be Honest: It is ok to have stereotypes or be uncomfortable with LGBT issues. It is another thing to promote your stereotypes and fear. It is important to be honest about these fears and stereotypes and kindly ask someone for more information and clarity or acknowledge your own biases as a step towards greater understanding.
- Don’t assume – ask a friend
- Confront own prejudices (even if it is uncomfortable)
- Don’t use derogatory terms or jokes
SIMPLE PRACTICES
Stay informed: Become informed of the realities, challenges and issues affecting the lives of LGBT people through websites, books, documentaries, education materials, and friends. This means being open – minded and confronting issues that you may be uncomfortable with. Remember you don’t need to know everything.
- Listen and positively engage with LGBT people
- Ask questions
- Educate yourself
Speak Up: Many LGBT individuals remain in the closet because they don’t have support around them. One of the easiest ways to support LGBT individuals is to use neutral language.
Have courage to speak against prejudice using facts or by expressing your feelings
Make your comments relatable by using neutral language –use terms like “partner” for self and others
Use a persons preferred gender pronoun “he” or “she” – if you don’t know, ask.
ADVANCED PRACTICES
Support (equality):
- Be mindful of day-to-day messages people are receiving and that you are projecting.
- Be inclusive and open about having LGBT friends, family, acquaintances (value respect and be grateful)
- Do not “out” LGBT people as they may not be comfortable with their identity in public spaces
- Help others learn about and appreciate all different kinds of families and individuals
- Support LGBT friendly / owned businesses and leave or quit organizations that are not supportive
- Be political! Write letters to newspapers or visit public policy makers and let the know your support
Come out! Like LGBT people, straight allies will find that coming out is not a one-time event, but rather a lifelong journey. Everytime that you encounter hate and fear, stand up against it and proclaim your support for LGBT individuals.
- Believe that people should be treated with dignity and respect
- Don’t omit the fact that you are friends or family with LGBT individuals
- Ask other allies to support you in your workplace, social groups
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Glossary of Terms
- Bisexual - Sexually oriented toward both sexes
- Gay - Of, for, or relating to homosexuals
- Homosexual - Of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex
- Intersex - An intersexual or intersex person is one who is born with genitalia and/or secondary sex characteristics which are neither exclusively male nor female, or which combine features of the male and female sexes. The term hermaphrodite is now considered stigmatizing, and patient advocates call for the usage of intersex as a more comprehensive and appropriate term.
- Lesbian - A female homosexual.
- Transgender - Exhibiting the appearance and behavioral characteristics of the opposite sex
- Transsexual - A person with a psychological urge to belong to the opposite sex that may be carried to the point of undergoing surgery to modify the sex organs to mimic the opposite sex
- Tranvestite - A person and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex especially for purposes of emotional and sexual gratification
- Transgender - Activist groups have reclaimed the usage of the word queer as an umbrella label for people or anything related to the categories of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, intersex, asexual, genderqueer, as well as heterosexuals whose sexual preferences or practices are outside of the mainstream.
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Readings
Recommended Reading List
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Download the Triangle Speakers resource guide for a complete list of books, Internet sites, support organizations, hotlines, and magazine/newsletters.
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Books for Teachers, Parents,
Family, Friends and Allies
Families: A Celebration of Diversity, Commitment, and Love
Free Your Mind : The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth — And Their Allies
Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? : A Positive Christian Response
Positively Gay: New Approaches to Gay & Lesbian Life
Representing Bisexualities: Subjects and Cultures of Fluid Desire
Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America
Books for Parents
Beyond Acceptance : Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences
Now That You Know : A Parents' Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children
On Being Gay : Thoughts on Family, Faith, and Love
Loving Someone Gay
Books for Elementary School —
Grade Appropriate
Asha's Mums for PreK - 5
Daddy's Roommate for PreK - 2
Daddy's Wedding for PreK - 6
Heather Has Two Mommies for K - 6
Films
To be added soon
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